


Relief and Respect

by robertsaaronsebastianskurt



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Canon, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 11:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6076896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robertsaaronsebastianskurt/pseuds/robertsaaronsebastianskurt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My version of the almost kiss when Aaron returns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Relief and Respect

**Author's Note:**

> hey!  
> I wrote this before the spoilers came out on Thursday and I haven't had the opportunity to upload til' now (I was travelling woo) but we had speculations of the almost-kiss, so this is my version of events. I'm pretty sure the episode will actually be 100% better (bring on the week of robrondale eyy) but I hope you enjoy nonetheless!  
> loves to u all <3

For the past two weeks, Robert Sugden had thought of nothing but Aaron Livesy.

Since he found out about Aaron’s departure, he had pretty much _obsessed_ about finding out where he was so he could persuade him to come home and get justice alongside being with those who loved him. His conversation with Chas the day after Aaron left did nothing to dampen the obsession, if anything – it only fuelled it. It had been majorly frustrating when he found out that Aaron had left, and that contributed to the admission to Chas about Aaron being ‘everything’.

A brief phone call from Chrissie about their impending divorce did nothing to divert him from his goal either, much to his soon-to-be ex-wife’s surprise. He no longer cared as to what people thought about his personal life, specifically involving his relationship status, because he only cared about Aaron’s wellbeing and supporting him through the toughest time in his life. It was almost as if he’d blocked everything but Aaron from his awareness, and it was all he could focus on, hence the ‘obsession’.

He’d been at the scrapyard non-stop, determined to prove to Chas that he meant what he said, much to Adam’s increasing annoyance. Robert hated manual labour, preferring a warm and cosy office where he could wear suits instead of hi-vis jackets and sweats, but he had to stick by his word and prove that he could help run the business, if only to give him the slightest chance of her opening up and spilling about where Aaron was. Plus, he kinda liked feeling useful again, it had given him a purpose beyond eating all of Victoria’s food and costing her a fortune in electricity bills.

He’d taken every spare minute of his day to follow up leads regarding things that could help bring Aaron home, as well as pestering Aaron’s nearest and dearest about whether they’d heard from him; mostly Adam, seen as they were constantly holed up together in the portacabin, but the more he asked, the less Adam would be willing to share. He’d also hang around the pub whenever he wasn’t at work on the off-chance that Aaron randomly turned up, and his heart leapt quickly in his chest every time someone so much as walked through the door.

On a rainy afternoon almost two weeks after he had discovered Aaron had left, Robert was doing just that, nursing his pint and receiving death glares every now and again from Chas - who he’d pestered for half an hour earlier in the day for updates on Aaron to no avail- when he saw a hooded figure burst through the door and hurry quickly into the back room, quickly followed by a shocked Chas.

Robert didn’t hesitate in jumping up from the booth he was sat at and walking behind the now-empty bar and into the back room, where he caught sight of Aaron being embraced tightly by his mum with a tired look on his face. They both turned to stare at him when he walked in.

“Oh, go away, Robert.” Chas said, darkly.

He ignored her. “Aaron, you’re back,” Robert chastised himself at stating the obvious, but he was still in shock at his return and mentally sighing in relief at seeing him again; he’d been starting to doubt that Aaron would ever come back. “How are you?”

Aaron’s mouth twitched, not quite a smile, but not dismissing Robert completely either, “I’m fine.”

“You heard him. You can go now.”

He threw her an impatient look, and stepped closer, “Where’ve you been?”

Chas huffed, ready to full-on throw Robert out of the pub with her bare hands, when Aaron put a hand gently to her wrist, “Mum, it’s okay. We can have a chat inabit, I just need to talk to Robert first.”

“But Aar-“

“Please, mum.”

Something about him have made her agree, even though Chas looked as if she wanted to do anything _but_ leave her son alone with mean ol’ Robert, but she did, reluctantly, muttering that she would be in the bar if he needed anything. She didn’t bother to hide the extremely filthy look she aimed in Robert’s direction though.

“Why are you here?” Aaron asked, as Robert took a tentative step toward him.

Robert’s brow furrowed, “You know why. I’m been out of my mind with worry, Aaron. Your mum wouldn’t tell me where you were.”

Aaron turned his mouth down at the edges dismissively, “She didn’t mention you’d asked.”

“Of course she didn’t,” Robert scoffed. “Where were you?”

“With family. In Ireland.”

“Oh.” Robert eyes flickered over Aaron’s face, trying to get a clue on how Aaron was feeling, but he seemed to be keeping it well under wraps, “How was it?”

Aaron shrugged and paced into the kitchen to grab a beer out of the fridge. He popped it open, took a swig and looked wearily at Robert. “It was okay. Gave me a chance to clear my head.” He sighed, “And it was nice, you know, being away from here.”

“So why did you come back?”

Aaron’s expression wavered as he weighed up whether or not to tell Robert to get lost, or open up to him. He chose the latter, “I missed it. I missed my mum, and Adam, and Paddy. This is my home. You were right.” He took another long sip of his beer, “I shouldn’t let _him_ drive me away.” Aaron had faltered at the mention of Gordon, and Robert took another involuntary step forward.

Robert tried to lighten the mood, “Well, it’s not often you say I’m right.”

Aaron smiled with no humour and moved closer to where Robert was standing. He set his beer down on the coffee table, then looked back Robert, contemplating. Robert couldn’t work out what he was thinking, or whether he actually wanted Robert to be there or not.

He got his answer a moment later when Aaron gave him a gentle smile, “Uh, I just wanted to say thanks. I don’t know why you did it, but I’m grateful that you listened to me.” He ducked his head, looking at his shoes, “I wouldn’t have been able to tell my mum without your – well, you know.”

Robert stared at Aaron’s face with a fierce intensity, “You don’t have to thank me, Aaron, and you do know why I did it.” At the matter of face tone of voice emanating from Robert, Aaron looked back up at him, and they both realised at the same time how close they were now stood, Robert towering over him slightly, with their faces were a mere few inches apart. Robert’s eyes were drawn to Aaron’s lips, and he couldn’t stop the overwhelming thoughts of wanting to feel them on his.  

The next thing he knew, it was happening; Aaron’s soft lips were pressed up hard against Robert’s and he found himself kissing back for a few moments at the glorious familiarity, before his brain kicked in and he laid a gentle but firm hand on Aarons chest, pushing him backwards so their lips parted with a quiet smack.

“Aaron. No-“

He still had his eyes closed for a second after, trying to keep the feeling of having Aarons lips against his; a feeling he’d waited so long to have again, before he opened them and witnessed a look of hurt settle on Aaron’s face.

He opened his mouth to backtrack, to explain that _of course_ he wanted to kiss Aaron; he wanted to kiss him so much it physically ached, but he couldn’t do it like this; not when Aaron was so emotionally vulnerable and hurting in such a way Robert could never properly understand, but Aaron interrupted him with a voice so insecure and fragile, it shook him to his core, “Come on, Robert. This is what you want, isn’t it? This is why you’re hanging around?”

“No.” Robert whispered. It shocked him that Aaron would think that he’d only been waiting for his return so he could get back in his pants, especially when it was so far from the real truth.

Aaron looked pained for a moment, before he schooled his face into a disinterested scowl that was so obviously fake. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Robert stepped back, running his hands through his messy blonde locks, “I do want this-” He gestured between them.

“But?” Aaron prompted.

“But not like this, Aaron! Not when you’re hurting.” Robert said, exasperated. “I want-“ But he didn’t continue, instead just rubbed his hands over his eyes. When he looked back at Aaron, his eyes were wide with confusion.

“I want to do things right this time. For you.” Robert finally said in a small voice.

Aaron let out a breath as a charged silence settled between the pair. He went to perch on the edge of the sofa, playing with the remote lying on the coffee table beside his discarded beer can with an unreadable expression on his face. Robert didn’t know what to do but stand awkwardly on the spot where Aaron had kissed him a moment earlier.

“Do you mean that?”

Robert let out a breath he didn’t even realise he was holding, and it came out shaky. He went to sit on the coffee table just off to the side to where Aaron was sat, “Yes.” He searched Aaron’s face, “I don’t know what to do to prove how serious I am.”

After a few more seconds of heavy silence, Robert continued, “But anyway, you got stuff you need to do.”

Aaron grimaced at the huge understatement, but nodded in acknowledgment of Robert’s statement.

“You got this huge fight ahead of you, Aaron, and you need to be focused on that. It’s not the time for us. And, I don’t know, maybe it never will be,” Robert shrugged, eyes cast downwards, “But that doesn’t mean I won’t be here for you. I’ll be with you every step of the way, Aaron.”

They caught eye contact then, and Aarons were glistening with unshed tears. There was so much more than Robert wanted to say, but he was never the best at articulating what he needed to, and he floundered on what to say next that wouldn’t make the situation any more difficult than it already was. He couldn’t read Aaron’s face; didn’t know whether he believed what he was saying or not, but he felt a weight had lifted at addressing the topic of ‘them’. For Robert anyway. Since he’d admitted he still loved Aaron a few weeks previous, thoughts about their possible future had been floating around in his pre-conscious, but had been cast aside so he could focus on the situation at hand which was so much more important, but it felt good to acknowledge it, if only briefly.

Aaron sat back on the sofa, shoulders slumping, clear agony etched on his face at the thought of his future. He looked lost, and Robert felt an ache in his gut which had an intensity he’d never felt before. He felt helpless, and desperate, and wanted nothing more than to pull Aaron into his arms and hold him in attempt help shield him from the pain he was feeling. But he was too unsure of Aaron’s boundaries, and didn’t want to push them.

“I can’t do this, Robert.” Aaron whispered, shoulders shaking as silent tears broke free and rolled down his cheeks. He didn’t know how, but Robert knew Aaron was talking about the road he had ahead of him as opposed to the concept of ‘them’ in the future, and Robert respected the fact that now was not the time to talk about it.

Robert leant forward from where he was sat, laying a tentative hand on Aaron’s knee and spoke quietly when Aaron didn’t make a move to pull away, “You can, Aaron! You’re so strong, and you’ll get through this.” He bent his head so he could look into Aaron’s eyes as he continued, “We’re all here for you.”

Aaron shook his head, face contorting in anguish, but he didn’t speak. Robert moved his hand from Aaron’s knee onto his shoulder, where he gave it a comforting squeeze and that was all it took for Aaron to collapse into his arms, crying into his neck with chest wracking sobs. It was clearly hitting him all over again, being back here and Robert swore he felt his heart break all over again, and he vowed he would do anything to make it better for Aaron. He would be whatever Aaron needed, and if that meant leaving him alone and supporting from a distance, then so be it. But he hadn’t told him to leave yet, so Robert marked that as progress.

Chas stepped quietly into the doorway then, catching sight of her son weeping in Roberts’s arms, and made a move to come in and take over, before she caught Robert’s eye and saw something in them that told her that he had this, and to give them a few more minutes. Despite herself, she did so.

After his sobs calmed, Robert pulled away to look at Aaron’s red, puffy face, which he was now wiping at with his sleeves. As much as he wanted to stay and talk some more, he figured that it could be saved for a later date.

“You should get some sleep.”

Aaron nodded, grateful at the fact that they didn’t linger on his emotional state. He moved to lie across the sofa, looking every bit as exhausted as Robert expected, and part of Robert desperately wished he could stay, if only so he could make sure he wouldn’t leave again, but he knew that that wasn’t what he would want right now.

“Do you want me to get your mum?”

Aaron nodded once more, and Robert went to leave, stopping just shy of the door.

“Aaron?”

“What?”

“I’m really glad you’re back.”

“Me too.” It came out as just a whisper, but it made Robert smile slightly as he walked out into the bar. Chas immediately spotted him, and rushed to his side, “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, just abit fragile. But he needs to be here, Chas, with you, with his family.”

Chas lip trembled at his words, and Robert saw how much this was affecting her too, and as much as he disliked her, he knew it was important for Aaron that he put his feud with her aside so they could both be there for him without causing any extra – issues, so to speak.

“He wants you.” Robert said, motioning his head in that direction.

As Robert went to exit from behind the bar, Chas’ voice stopped him. “Thank you.”

He turned round to look at her, wide eyed. “For… well, you know. Being there for him. He wouldn’t have made it without you. I’m grateful. ” Chas herself looked as if she wanted to puke at the words she was muttering through her teeth, but he could tell she meant it all the same.

Robert shrugged, face deadly serious as he said, “I love him, Chas.”

“I know.”

And with that, Robert left the pub.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> comments are greatly appreciated + mistakes are my own. thank u for reading<3
> 
> robertsaaronsebastianskurt.tumblr.com


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